The Blame Game

Why is it that we don't like to take responsibility for our own actions?  Actually, I know the answer - it's Pride.

I know a girl - a friend of a friend - whose marriage is falling apart.  But it isn't her fault - it's her husband's fault, the preacher's fault, the church's fault.  She isn't taking ownership of anything.  A marriage doesn't dissolve overnight.  When you first start becoming out of tune with your spouse is the time you need to seek help.  We don't want to admit that we are flawed and need help.  With this particular girl, what people think of her - how she dresses, and what possessions she owns - is the most important thing.  It's more important that we set our focus on what God thinks of us.

We don't turn to God for help because we think we can handle things on our own, and then we just end up making a huge mess.  There's that pride thing again.  "Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord:  though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished."  Wow, those are strong words.  An abomination.  A proud person will not go unpunished.  Sometimes the punishment will be a lack of God's blessings in our lives.  Sometimes it could be a failed marriage.

I'm not saying that this is why my friend's friend is suffering.  I'm not God and I don't know all things.  I do know that there are two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth.  But I've also experienced plenty of blessings from above and plenty of chastening (I'm a slow learner). 

The answer is to humble our hearts.  This goes against everything that the world preaches at us every day.  I need to take care of me first.  What about me?  I need to do this for me.  It is a daily struggle to die to self.  But it is so important.  "But he giveth more grace.  Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up."  James 4:6, 10.  I don't know about you, but those verses scare me.  If I don't have a humble heart, God won't be in my corner.  I won't be in His perfect will; I won't be receiving all the blessings I could; I'll have a lot more heartache.

It's sad to watch people suffer.  Even more sad is when the solution is as simple as getting rid of pride and humbling your heart before Almighty God.